My Dearest little Emmie,
I can't believe how long we've known each other now! How I've gone from “Auntie Athy,” to “Mammy” and how much it lights me up, when I hear your darling little voice over the phone going, “elloe, Mammy.” It makes my day, lights up my entire face, and I can't stop smiling for a good hour. You were this most precious little lolita girlie, that grew into the most beautiful woman before my eyes, and it was amazing to see.
I know that you're having problems in your life right now, but you can't forget that you have me, I'm always going to be here for you. I know it might seem weird to some people, how we could form such a bond over the internet of all things, but I'll tell you what I tell people when they ask me about my eldest daughter, I don't need blood, a bit of paper or a traumatic labour experience to tell me you are MY child. My little Emmie baby. My eldest daughter, who will one day show her little sister how to hold a make up brush properly, or her little brother how to point and shoot a camera, and capture beautiful moments.
I can't wait for the day I drive into Liverpool, and I get see your smile for real. Get to throw my arms around you, and smother you in my love. Spoil you rotten, with gifts too. Yes, I know you hate it when people do that, but as your Mammy I have the right and it's that double edged sword that you love so dearly, right? You gave me that nickname so long ago, and I honestly don't think either of us truly realised how much it would mean, to us. To the point that even my mum lets you call her Nana, and doesn't blink, to falter if you write on her wall, she's as sweet to you as she is the other grandchildren. That when I told my dad about you, he looked at me like he was so proud, that him and mum did something right, that I could love you as unconditionally as I do my own children, that I want to take care of you, and make your life better. Steal you away, and put you in a tower full of tea and biscuits! Because wouldn't that be awesome? No beans mind you, darling. They're getting far too expensive these days.
I want to stand beside you at Gay Pride, and wave this massive banner saying that my daughter is a lesbian, and we're both god damn proud of it. When you came out to me, I was laughing so hard, how excited you got, “oh! Oh! Oh! Mammy!!!!! I'm a lesbian!!” And my response was, “yeah I know,” and we laughed. Now I hope you didn't think that me being...so off handed? About it was me lessening your coming out, because baby it's wonderful you know who you are, and that you're proud of it. So proud that you didn't blink about telling me, and didn't worry. I hope that's because you knew I will love you no matter what, because I do, Emmie. Lesbian, straight, bi. You be whatever you want to be, and be happy about it. Because, that's all I want for you.
I want to be there at your wedding day, even if you're walking down the aisle to another girl. I want to be there, and yes...I'm going to wear either a really rather ridiculous hat to make you laugh, or Athy's lucky hat. Because, everyone's gonna have to kiss it. But, the point is....Mammy loves you baby girl, so much she hardly thought it possible. Though we have miles between us...like the saying goes, there is nothing stronger than the bond between a mother and her children. You are mine, through and through, now until the end of time, and then probably after that as well.
You keep taking those amazing pictures with your camera baby, and make me proud every time I log on to DA, and see more beautiful artwork of yours, or when you tell me that the doctors have your pictures hanging on their wall! I mean WOW, Em's. Way to shine!
You are beautiful, inside and out. I know times have been hard, but we're going to get you through it.
Your Mammy. <3