A Note from Tom to His Dearly Departed Dad (Columbus, Ohio)

Dad,

Today is your birthday and I still can’t believe it has been almost 3 years since we lost you. Everyone tells me that God has a plan that we can’t understand. I’m starting to believe that has to be true. There was so much I never had the time to tell you when you were still with us. So I’m writing this letter to you now, better late than never I guess.

First and foremost my niece and nephew, The Jedi, are AMAZING you would be so taken by them. I’m trying to spoil them rotten like you would have. They know who pop-pop is when they see your picture and when they get older they will know even more about you; mom, Lynda and I will make sure of that.

Now onto the why I needed to write this letter to you. I want to thank you for being such an amazing parent. I have to say I never realized that when I was younger but as I age I have come to see just how incredible both you and mom were to us.

You taught us to be strong and to always stand up for ourselves no matter what. You pushed us to be the best we can be whether it was in sports or academics. At the time did I feel you pushed a little too much? HELL yes, but now I’m so grateful for it. You taught me how to play sports and how to be a man. You were a fantastic role model. I learned from you the type of man I should be and also the type of man not to be.

I have been an out gay man for over 20 years now and I know in the beginning it was rough for you. I’m also sure that while I was growing up you had your concerns that I was gay. However you never let that stop you from loving me or supporting me. Because of that I am able to be proud of who I am. I have never once felt ashamed to be gay, that is because of you and mom thank you.

I have read and heard horror stories of parents who no longer talk to their children because they are gay and I have to admit I don’t understand how any parent could do that. Both you and mom just wanted me to be happy and honestly that meant more than you will ever know to me.

When I first came out of the closet I let another influence me and I forgot what you taught me. Even though I’m sure you saw this you never let that stop you from loving me or my partner at that time. For you it was about being there for me. You never stopped loving me even though I was extremely selfish during this time. Once again THANK YOU!!!

That relationship ended and I was devastated and even though I had pulled away from you and mom all those years you two were there to help pick me up and get me back onto the track I should have been on all along. It was like all those years of selfishness never happened. I never thanked you for that and I’m truly sorry for that, however I hope you know how much that meant to me.

I would not be the man I am today if it was not for your love and support you had given me over the years. I miss you so much every day. It is still strange not to be able to talk to you and hear your voice when I need advice. However I know I carry your love in my heart everyday and I truly aspire to be half the man you were, so dad THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!