aNoteToMyKid.com

A Note to Molly from Mom (Detroit, MI)

Molly, my Molly. My brave, proud, headstrong girl.  I love that you know what you want from this world.  I love that you are not afraid to go get it. I love that sometimes you like to dress like a boy. I love how much you care about people. I love that you are only three but you already know how to bring love and laughter to every person you meet.  I hope that you never lose this passion and this joy for life – that nobody sucks it out of you and tells you that you’re wrong.  I won’t ever love you less, no matter whom you choose to love. I hope that no matter what anyone tells you, you will always know you are awesome.

 

A Note to Abby from Mom (Detroit, MI)

Abby – You are truly an individual.  I can’t tell you how proud I am that you have the strength, at nine years old, to tell people you just don’t care what they think.  If only we could all be so brave. You are also the kindest, most loving, artistic, and caring person I have ever known.  I see you flirt with boys on the playground but if you ever choose to flirt with girls that will be ok with me. It will never matter to me who you choose to love because I know whomever you choose will be as kind and loving as you are, and I could wish for nothing better. <3

 

A Note to Walter from Mom (Seattle, WA)

Dear Walter, I love you.  The moment I found out you were coming into this world I fell so completely and totally in love with you. I still find it hard to describe the love I feel for you. And I want you to know that my love is not conditional. It is unwavering. It will always be.

As I write this letter to you, you are playing happily with your new Thomas the Train loot we got you last weekend. I can’t describe how happy those books and trains make you. You are a new boy.  You play for hours on end by yourself. Before last weekend I really didn’t care much for Thomas the Train. But seeing how incredibly happy it makes you brings joy to my heart and a new fondness for Thomas the Train.

So why am I talking about Thomas the Train and unconditional love all in the same letter? I guess what I am trying to tell you is ever since you were born I have tried really hard to not write your life for you, but rather expose you to many different things and see what you gravitate toward. So while today I can say without a doubt you are wayyyy interested in Thomas the Train because that’s what you like, while I don’t know what your interests will be as you grow up. I can promise I will still provide every opportunity for you to explore and decide for yourself your likes and dislikes.

But as you grow up life gets more complicated its not just what toys and cartoon characters you like but what your politics are, what you believe, and sadly, who you love will all come under scrutiny by others—not everyone, but some.

So what is a boy learning to navigate the world to do? How do you know which way to turn? My best advice is to follow your heart, never fear the unknown, seek out the differences in people and, accept yourself for who you are, always carry integrity with you and be welcoming of people from all walks of life.

For the politics and religion all I ask of you is to be able to stand up for what you believe in and argue your point without name calling and taking cheap shots at people. And when it comes to love and relationships, love who you love, with respect and an honest heart. And know that I cannot wait to see how you interpret the world around you and who you choose to have as your life partner. Because in both cases I know they will be spectacular.

Above and beyond anything else I’ve said, know that you can always come to me when you don’t know which way to turn., when you feel like the world has let you down, and when you feel like your decisions and life interests are under attack. I am always here for you, supporting, encouraging and loving you no matter what. Love you forever. - Mom

A Note to Patrick from Mom (San Diego, CA)

Dear Patrick, you have been my son for almost half my life and it has been an amazing ride since the first day you arrived. I am grateful to be able to say that there are very few memories I would prefer to erase. Cat scratch fever would be at the top! The fact that you are gay did not make the list.

I vividly remember the first thought I had after you told me that you were gay. It was 3:00 AM and here I was sitting in bed picturing my tall handsome athletic son at the end of a church aisle waiting for his bride to walk down to meet him. The strangeness of this thought strikes me to this day.

Your one sentence propelled me in a direction I never imagined I would travel. You know I am a worrier. I feared you would be ridiculed, I feared for your health, I feared you would have a hard time getting a job, I feared family would feel sad for us, and I feared people would talk about MY son behind our backs.

It took a little time to realize that I had wasted my worry card. You are an amazing young man. You have risen above any ridicule you may have encountered, you have made good health a high priority, you have a wonderful career, you have the love and support of a large extended family, and you have brought amazing people into our lives. As for any whisperers behind our backs, they can just stay there. Who needs them?

I am so proud of you, Patrick. You are a wonderful son, brother, uncle, and partner. You always have time for your family and friends and you make each of us feel important. I am proud that you have embraced being gay and are able to live your life honestly. Thank you for guiding us so gently into our new world. We are better people for it. I love you. - Mom

A Note to Patrick from Dad (San Diego, CA)

Dear Patrick, I know that you already know everything that I will write here, and that is part of the reason that I have never written this letter.  Being the expert and professional writer that you are, I also know that you have an understanding of the power of the written word. It can be repeated over and over without changing, and the author can never claim that is not what he said. Things that you like to hear you can “hear” as many times as you care to read them. And so I wish to make this permanent record.

I will not pretend that I was not disappointed when I learned that you were gay. My disappointment was primarily driven by my belief that you would be forced to endure a life of ridicule and prejudice. I now believe that our society has improved in that regard to the point that you may now even enjoy an advantage in some respects by belonging to a group that has so many wonderful and talented members who stick together and promote each other. Your partner, Mike, is a perfect example! Just like you and so many of your friends and associates, he is smart, polite, mature, industrious, respectful and respectable. You are both valuable citizens of this great country (still with faults, but great none the less), and you deserve the same equal treatment as everyone!

You and I know that our society has a long way to go, and we must continue to publicly denounce prejudice of all kinds. There is no room in our society for any prejudice, including prejudice mandated by the government.

I do not love you because you are gay; I do not love you even though you are Gay; I love you because you are my son and because you are such a wonderful person. - Your Father

A Note to Michael from Mom (Pittsburgh, PA)

If Rosey calls I will tell her this....." If her Son has 1/16th the caring, loving, creative, and intelligent qualities that my Son Michael has, she is one " lucky"  Mom.  It has nothing to do with whether he is "Gay" or "Straight", but what kind of person he is....how he treats others....and how he feels about himself.   I feel great about telling others that you are gay, and using it to explain the goodness that you put forth in life, and the strength you have shown while growing up in a world that can be judgemental, prejudice, and mean to those "THEY" perceive as different.  Everyone is different, and thank heavens for that!!!  Everyone should be treated the same if they are good people.  It's the goodness in people that makes them special.  So, I could go on and on down my memory lane of Life with Mikey....and show extreme happiness and pride that you are "My Son". Love, Mom